A grand experiment

Recently, the library in which I work has decided to take advantage of my fresh, young, eager junior status to pile on the special projects deep and thick, hopefully before I get all jaded and indifferent like the old-timers. I can't say that I really mind, as: a) it does keep me busy on quiet evenings and b) it helps to pad out my semi-monthly activity reports so that it looks like I'm useful, nay, indispensable come salary negotiation time (ahem). In that vein, I am currently under standing orders to examine the fine art of blogging in all its many wondrous facets. They are thinking of publishing a campus wide organ of the state through which to disseminate that which needs to be disseminated, chastise that which needs to be chastised, kudos where kudos is due, etc. Their schemes and visions are indeed wondrous to behold, no?

As part of this initiative, I have decided to start one of my own as merely one of many phases in the grand experiment of my life. For various reasons which should become clear, I have spent the last few years as a shell of a person. I have existed, in that life has gone on and I have gone through its motions, but I have not lived in the true sense of the word. The human mind has some funny (and merciful, I guess) ways of coping with extreme trauma, and oddly enough I think I've blacked out most of the year 2004. I tell you all this honestly so that you, gentle reader (and I hope there are some of you out there), might understand where I am coming from in order to understand where I am and, hopefully, where I am going. I've found it somewhat therapeutic to write all this sort of thing down lately, to leave this baggage here on the printed (virtual) page rather than harbour it in my soul. At any rate, there's no names or salient details to incriminate anyone so no harm done, although I suppose you could piece it all together if you knew me and knew what I was talking about. And that's fine with me; those who know, know, and those who don't can still learn a thing or two. And the kings and shadows continue to wheel in the night sky...